E.V.I.L Hairspray..... The Dr.Suess Version?
by Topaz989
Summary: Title says all.... note, I did get permission to write this. R/R, and maybe I'll go find another fic to do the same with.WARNING: Vulgar language.... just the way I like them >: ]


E.V.I.L Hairspray- **The Dr.Suess Version **

The morning starts,   
The sun starts to rise.   
Stayed up till one,  
At Goten's party last night.   


I walk towards the mirror,   
And what do I see?  
My hair looks like shit,  
God, please save me.  


A cow lick from childhood,  
Has returned and come back.  
Digging through my closet,   
I slapped on a cap.  


No one can't see me,   
Especially Bra.  
She will taunt me forever,   
Till I'm aged and grown old.   


I need some gel fast,   
So the frizz will fry.  
Or a bottle of mousse,  
ANYTHING!!! I'LL TRY!!   


My father walked in,   
Grumpy as usual,   
Scratching his mustache   
That he grew under his nostrils,  


He was wearing his boxers,   
With a flannel design,   
We both headed for the bathroom,   
But had to wait in line.  


Bra was in there,   
Spraying poisonous crap,  
That was a mixture of kiwi,  
orange and tangerine at that.  


We both began to cough, as she opened the door,  
Coughing and gagging, we fell to the floor,   
Dead as a doornail, till she placed smelling salt near I,   
She lifted my cap off, now I was going to die.  


"Oh my god" she cried, hands over mouth in place,  
"You look like a retard." bluntly in my face,  
I frowned a bit, and cocked one of my eyes,  
I pointed one hand, to hell she will fry,   
Dad glared at me once,   
"Don't touch my Princess"  
"Or you will scrub the gravity room,  
and I'll cut your allowance."  


"Oh dear," spoke Mom   
to my Saiyan pappy,  
"He looks terrible, help him out;   
it'll make him and me happy."   


Dad frowned a bit, as he guided me pass a broom,  
Up the stairs, and into his bedroom,  
He dug under the bed, To my surprise,   
A can of hairspray appears, of enormous size.  


"E.V.I.L" it read, as Vegeta placed it in front of my face,  
"It'll fix lice, dandruff or hair out of place.   
But there are a few safety precautions, that must take place."  
"GIVE IT TO ME!!" I lashed and spoke, and sprayed with great haste  


"Better" he spoke, as he was filled with a glee,  
His soft, purple locks, all shiny and pretty.  
"I'm going to the mall," he cried as Veggie picked up the can.  
"Causes temporary villainess" under the 'Made in Japan'  


"Oh shit," he muttered,   
as Trunks exited the door.   
Happy and content to attract babes once more.  


An icy cold feeling shivered inside his body,  
Darkness and evil, filled the purple haired hottie.  


He landed at the mall, where he bumped into a woman and brat,   
His brow began to twitch, his anger did snap.   
"Watch where you're going!" she bellowed and bitch.   
"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I!!" spoke the imitation prince.  


His hands moved around, in a samurai style,  
"Time to go to the next dimension," as he cracked a small smile.  
"MASENKO!!!" he shouted, as he rose his hands past his neck,   
*BOOM* They now join Freeza, in a small corner in heck.  


Trunks landed back down, at the mall's parking lot,  
Past where the mother and child once stood, on a brunt, melted, spot.  
He made his way to electronics,   
To grab a Papo Roach CD,  
That was when his eyes gazed up at a massive TV.   
WITH UNCANNY VISUALS...1000 INCH SCREEN!!!   
SURROUND SOUND SPEAKERS, AN EXPERIENCE YET TO BE SEEN!!!  
FOR A MERE 1.7 MILLION, A BARGAIN INDEED!!  
"I'VE GOT TO HAVE IT!!" he cried, to fulfill his needs.   


He ran towards the counter, where a middle aged woman was standing,   
"I'll have one Masterscreen," sounding none, too demanding.  


"That'll be $1,938,000, please" speaking like an unliving-drone.  
He reached for his Visa, "DAMN, its at home.  
Can you give me it now, and I'll pay every cent back,   
I'm the president of CC," as he kept his anger in check.   


"SECURITY!!!" she bellowed, as two large men came about,  
Ready to beat on him to a pulp, and kick his bum out.  


He went Super Saiyan, his hair turned blond,  
The woman slumped at her table and began to yawn.   
Unimpressed was she as she pulled out a puzzle,  
As Trunks blasted away, turning the store into rubble.  


Shooting the guards, until their existence was nothing,   
"Cha la la" stuck in head, A tune he started humming.  


He turned towards the clerk,   
His eyes glowed a bright green,   
As he flew through the roof,   
As far as the eye can see.  


A safe distance away,   
As the woman's blood pressure soared.   
She muttered and gasped as she made peace with the lord.   
Trunks lifted his hands, she felt so much trama,  
As he blew the building away with a blue genki dama.  


Goku then came, away from Hawaii,   
A flowered shirt he did wore, that made him kawaii,  
Bra then came, "What happened to the mall?"  
Her face began to sour, her eyes began to ball,  


Goku began to think, "Hmm from what I can tell,   
Its gone.....all gone....SEARS, Old Navy, and credit card hell."  


They stared up at Trunks, as the sun set for evenin',  
His face looked as if, it was possessed by a demon.  


Vegeta appeared and grabbed Goku by the arm,   
Pulling him away from sight, a few blocks afar.  


"Listen Kakorot, we must keep him occupied,   
until the hairspray wears off, or the city will be destroyed."  


A few hours gone by, as the Super Saiyans clashed,  
Punching and kicking, and tons of ki blasts.  


After being in battle, for nearly half of the episode,  
Trunks awaken next to an unconscious Michelangelo.   
"What happened," he mumbled as the effects wore off,  
"YOU DESTROYED THE MALL!!" screamed Bra as she slammed her foot in his nuts.  


Trunks groaned in pain. Goku handed him an ice pack.  
As Vegeta held back his daughter from her vicious attacks.  


One week later, she was still in depression,  
Trunks sacred area, still bruised and swollen.  
Bulma took the hairspray,   
to the bathroom she went,   
as she broke each can and flushed it down the toilet.  


But Vegeta, the bastard, that he is,   
Walked towards his sock drawer and pulled one out with compassion.  
He popped open the lid.   
And sprayed it at a section,  
A few minutes later, his hair gleamed in perfection.   


Little does he know, that his baby and token,   
Would then take over the mind of his enemy's kid, Goten.   


But I won't write that right now,   
Cause I'm very, very busy,   
Gotta get the cat fixed,   
So it can't make no more kitties.   


Maybe I'll write it, when I'm feeling very bored.  
Or whenever Dunno decides to make E.V.I.L Hairspray 4.  


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_WORD FROM THE AUTHOR: The original was written by 'Dunno'. The first time I read the story, I was laughing my ass off. If you ask my friends, they'll tell you. Its tough to make me laugh. Dunno, won my respect when he or she accomplished this feat. So I show that honor by using my 'Dr.Suess esque' poetry. Its a combination of telling a story with a bit of rhythm and poetry. Its pretty hard to do(especially the long ones) when you're first beginning.  
If you would like to read another like this, just follow this link. Its pretty funny....shorter.... but pretty funny.   
_

http://www.fanfiction.net/master.cfm?action=story-read&storyid=38580

And check out Dunno's E.V.I.L Hairspray collection as well as his/hers other fics by searching under the name 'Dunno'. I enjoyed it. Especially the first part.

  


Topaz989


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